The Dentist Appointment
by QuirkyRevelations
Summary: Bruce Wayne as Batman is waiting in the dentist's office for an appointment and happens to meet the BAU's colorful technical analyst. This is just a random one-shot of Penelope Garcia talking with the Dark Knight himself. Not romantic...just random.


**Hey there! So this a quick crossover one-shot that I wrote for school. It's my first crossover! Since it's an assignment, it's kinda random; I just posted it up for the heck of it. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or the Dark Knight movies or anything else associated with it. If I did, then there'd be a movie based on criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak's story "Everything Burns". It would be soooo epic! I could see it now... :)**

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"Hey there! Is this seat taken?" Batman took his eyes off his magazine and looked up at the perky blonde woman standing near him. Was she talking to him? Apparently so since she's smiling at him and the only empty seat available in the dentist's office was the one next to him. Staring at her silently, he shook his head and her smile brightened as she sat down.

"Freaky get-up you got there. Are you heading for a Comic Book Convention or something?" Batman looked at her incredulously; _she_ said _he_ had a crazy outfit! _She_ was the one wearing a bright pink top with a light purple sweater to ward off the cold and a vivid blue skirt that could blind someone that stared too long—her high heels were neon pink with violet bows plastered on the tops of each and she had on a huge, dazzling red necklace with an even bigger heart attached to the crimson stones linked together.

And if the woman's style wasn't bizarre enough, her hair was outlandish as well! Her blonde locks were streaked with pink highlights and were raised up in two ponytails that seemed to explode like fireworks! Don't only Japanese girls wear their hair like that? The woman didn't really seem to care if she had wanted to go out in public looking like that. The Caped Crusader couldn't help but stiffen when he thought of the Joker and his crazy green-dyed hair.

Before Batman could have a chance to respond, the woman cheerfully chirped, "I used to go to things like that all the time but my job sometimes prevents me from going. Too bad though, I _love_ attending conventions since they give me an excuse to dress up. When I can, I go with my boyfriend and we dress similarly; you know like I'll dress up like Hermione Granger and he'll dress up like Harry Potter or this one year he was Frodo Baggins and I was a female version of Samwise Gamgee. It was fun!"

Batman just watched as her blue eyes sparkled behind her glasses while his dark brown ones assessed her behind his mask. How on earth is she babbling on with such enthusiastic zeal while she's seating next to him, the Dark Knight of Gotham City. Granted that she assumed that he was a costumed character (of himself), but he was use to people staring at him in awe (or disgust) or running away from him in fear—well at least when he was Batman and not his alter-ego billionaire Bruce Wayne.

Realizing that the dark man next to her wasn't saying anything, the woman grew embarrassed, "Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to ramble on like that! It's just that your costume is so cool and I can't help but get all geeky at that kind of stuff. I assure you I don't normally do that—in fact, a friend of mine at work tends to do that, but never me. I'm _not_ that spazzy!"

When Bruce saw that the pink in her cheeks match her hair streaks and shirt, he couldn't help but smile ever so slightly, "That's okay. I don't really mind. Thanks for the compliment, by the way."

The woman seemed surprised at Batman's deep, surly voice yet didn't comment on it, "No problem; your outfit really _is_ amazing. So, um, if you don't mind me asking, what are you here for?" Suddenly the woman chuckled, "Heh, I sound like some criminal asking a fellow prisoner in jail how he got busted."

The Caped Crusader gave a deep yet dry chuckle of his own. _You have no idea._ "I broke a tooth in a…fight and the dental services in my city are inadequate. The dentists are unprofessional, untrained, or just plain rude to…people like me."

The woman looked appalled, "Why?! You seem like a decent character! I mean, I'm not a profiler or anything but you seem legit! Besides, anyone who wears a costume as cool as that has to be awesome!"

_Not likely. _The Dark Knight thought about his countless enemies back in Gotham with their flashy outfits: the Joker with his purple suit, green button-up vest, white make-up, and painted red lips over his scars; Dr. Crane with his innocent-looking scholarly doctor get-up that completely contrasted with his creepy stare and his equally disturbing brown sack-like mask that he wore as the Scarecrow; and Bane with his freaky face mask that completely covered his nose and mouth and wrapped around his entire head along with his metallic chest armor. _Some costumes just indicate that you have issues._

Glancing back at the woman, Bruce responded, "It doesn't matter; decency doesn't mean much where I'm from—only money and power rise above the rest."

The woman pouted and put her hands on her hips, "Well that sounds stupid! With what I deal with every day, a good character is probably one of the few things that can uphold hope, faith, and morality in this world. It's what gets me up in the morning and what makes the time pass nicely as I sit in a dentist's office waiting for my appointment!" And with that, she smiled brightly at Batman, a smile that warmed his bitterly wrapped up heart.

But he refused to let it get to him; he knows how the world works. "You say that now but in reality you don't know who I am. You don't know the things I've done. For all you know, I could've sent some people to the hospital in that fight I had gotten into."

Bruce was surprised when the woman was undeterred, "That could be possible but for all I know, the fight could've started because you were saving someone from being mugged or you could've been defending a friend or even a complete stranger. The thing is, I don't know nor do I think I'll ever know. I'd like to believe that your fractured molar is your personal battle scar from doing something good and I'd like to keep thinking that way!"

Those blue eyes sparkled with cheerfulness and a kind of sunshine that the Caped Crusader hadn't seen in a while. It was…nice—completely different from what he was used to every day. He kind of wished that more people like her lived in Gotham City—but then again maybe not since Batman would rather preserve that positive energy somewhere else rather than have Gotham taint it within the hour.

Before Batman could come up with a response, the still silence of the office was shattered with Natasha Bedingfield's song _Pocketful of Sunshine_. It startled everyone in the room and its source turned out to be the woman's ringtone as she sheepishly pulled out her cellphone, all bejeweled up with a pink cover.

Bruce smiled at the irony of the song while the woman checked the caller ID, muttered something in frustration, and then picked it up. "Hey Hotch! Whatcha need?" She listened for a moment as the caller 'Hotch' responded on the phone and her eyes widened slightly. "No way! For real! Now?! But I'm about to have my teeth drilled! An amazingly beautiful tech goddess such as myself can't be expected to work with an aching cavity!"

'Hotch'? 'Tech goddess'? Batman was growing amused with the woman's conversation as the person on the line started talking again. The lady pouted for a moment but then relented with a sigh, "Yes sir, I understand. I'm on my way. But I'm blaming _you_ if I get tempted to eat something sweet and hurt my poor little tooth! See you soon sir!" Then she hung up her phone and put it away in her purse.

She looked at Batman with an apologetic expression on her face, "Well that was my boss; I have to go now. It was nice meeting you! And thanks for talking to me and putting up with my fabulous charm! It tends to overwhelm the weak-hearted!"

Bruce chuckled, "I should be thanking you. It was interesting talking to you but it was nice. Thanks for tolerating …" he briefly struggled for the right word, "me and my mask."

The woman smiled brightly, "Oh your welcome! I still think your costume is cool! You look like you could really be some sort of vigilante type superhero or something—it's really epic!"

_You have no idea how dead on you are._ Batman merely gave a small smile and nodded as in thanks. The woman stood up from her chair and exclaimed, "Well again it was nice talking to you! Have fun with replacing your tooth!" Then she made a move to walk out the exit.

However, something occurred to Bruce, "Wait a moment." The woman turned around to look at him. "What's your name?"

An even bigger smile glowed across the perky woman's face, "You, my dark brooding stranger, can call me Penelope Garcia…or the supreme queen of all things techy and knowledgeable. Whatever works for you!" Then with one final grin, she went out the door and was gone—leaving Batman smiling to himself and feeling a rare, bubbly warmth that appeared out of nowhere. It kept him feeling mildly happy even while he went through the painful procedure of getting a replacement tooth and even as he took the Batmobile back to the dreary streets of Gotham City.

He scanned the streets and already sensed that trouble was starting to brew. Well when it strikes, he'll be there to stop it whether or not the citizens of Gotham want him to. But it doesn't matter—he's doing a good thing and that's all that counts. After all, he's Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy and philanthropist by day and Batman, a feared vigilante and the Dark Knight once the sun sets. Two different personalities contained within one man—a man who lost his parents, became a crime fighter…and talked with one quirky woman named Penelope Garcia.

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**So that's it. Hope you enjoyed it! :)**


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